Where Are The Flowers?

   

     It just happens like that sometimes… I am a music/song person, I have been for as long as I can remember. It is most likely because during my childhood, my parents were both musicians and songwriters, my mother was the Minister of Music at our church, and my dad was the pastor - but I was raised, not only to hear the songs, but to hear the words and the emotion behind them. So it was nothing usual when I heard a new song for the first time, I listened to the words, felt every single one, tears slowly and quietly rolled down my cheeks. THIS ONE was different, it hit me differently. Why was I feeling so much emotion while listening to the song. It ministered to me in a way I had not felt before.      I went on and decided to remember it and listen to it again later. It was just a day or so later that it came on the radio again, and I listened intently again to every lyric - and again, I felt emotion that I could not describe. Many days later, at this point I had heard it many times and had most of it memorized, but at a familiar intersection, where I have spoken to God, as well as been spoken to by God; the song came on again. I stopped the car and sat still this time - this time I KNEW  it was God. But of course, I questioned it, because I always question things - it’s a bad habit that I am still working on. I sat still this time and listened to the words, the quiet stillness of the car. 

“‘So I brought it up in a desperate prayer Lord 

Why are you keeping me here?

Then He said to me, “Child I’m planting seeds”

I’m a good God and I have a good plan

So trust me I’m holding the watering can

And someday you’ll see that flowers grow in the valley”

    Now if you know me, you know my life and all that has come and gone; and if you don’t know me, hang in there, I’m telling my story piece by piece. But for now, just know it’s been a very good life, with a lot of gut-wrenching surprises.. So there I sat listening intently to the words to this song and the promises of God. I looked to my right and I saw an actual valley, as spoken about in the song, and I said out loud (I guess arguing with God - always dumb), I looked at that valley and I said, “well, obviously not ALL valleys, there aren’t flowers there in that valley, just like there are not any in my own personal valleys”. I basically felt like I was left completely barren in my valleys. Then I felt a still small voice speak to my spirit and say, “But what IS in that valley that you’re looking at?”. I looked over and slowly and inevitably, my questioning was silenced. I looked at that valley and all I saw were weeds…. You see, I have also been studying gardening and outdoor things for the past 15 months, and the #1 thing you have to do for your plants and vegetables to grow, is keep the weeds at bay. The weeds grow with water as well, and they will always choke out the produce and the beauty of what you are doing. But, get rid of the weeds, and you can have an amazing garden and beautiful flower beds. Isn’t God funny, He made sure to use an illustration that I would GET at this point in my life. 

At that moment, I froze, I realized that He was showing me, your valleys have been so full of weeds, My flowers could not grow to their FULL beauty or capacity. The seeds were there, however the weeds were too, so only so much beauty could be seen. Then, all at once, everything clicked, it was so clear. I have spent the last 15 months somewhat secluded, while uprooting many many weeds in my own heart; and for the first time, I am allowing God to uproot some other weeds that have had very deep roots in my heart: anger, bitterness, self-pity, etc…. The process has been hard, and painful, however I reached a point where my life had come to a complete standstill - I had lost the trust of my own children because I was so damaged - the worst part was that I was so blinded by my own pain, and everything I had allowed to take root and fester in my heart and soul, there was no room for flowers, and the flowers that had survived, I could not see them, because my vision was also blocked by the weeds. I looked back over the past few months, and saw so clearly what had changed… I had finally reached the point that I was aware of the infestation of weeds, and I finally stepped back and said, “Ok God, it’s yours, it’s a mess, but it is all yours - please help me”.  That was it. When I allowed Him, He went to work on me, my heart and my soul. 

In that moment, my eyes were cleared and I saw my own valley, not quite yet filled with flowers, but there are definitely no weeds anymore that can choke the beauty out while it is growing. I look at my “valleys” differently now, they were evidence to me that without God, I am a weed infested mess. With God, my valleys are slowly and consistantly filling up with more and more beautiful things. What is so amazing now, is that NOW I can see the beauty, I see the flowers…. And I know, more are coming! 

Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”  

*Song by: Samantha Ebert featuring Steph Schlueter - “Flowers”.

By: Shara Lin